Life Connections

Imagine a lady walking down a quiet neighborhood street with a toddler in hand. She walks ever so slowly as the toddler takes small steps, talking gently with the child as she walks. This is the picture I witnessed as I drove away from a single mom’s home last week. The lady walking was a volunteer with Beyond the Walls. I met the volunteer at the single mom’s house to look at a flooring project. She needs linoleum (which is already purchased) installed in her kitchen. It was unlike any floor I have ever seen in a long time. Worn wood-flooring from many years of use and patched with pieces of plywood, this home would look unlivable to most American families. But to a mom living in poverty, it offers a roof over her family’s head and security vs living in a shelter.

This, however, is the picture I hope we will grasp for the coming year: Christ followers walking hand-in-hand through life difficulties with a single mom and her kids; ladies as mentors with single moms, and men and women of all ages mentoring the children of single moms. How do we pull this off? I invite you to join me in this discussion in months to come. I desire and need your advice. I’ll be talking to other mentoring ministries to compare best-practices. All I know right now is that with dads absent in the single-mom-home, the children could use a mentoring relationship from a stable Christian adult – young or old.

I love a quote by Ed Stetzer, preacher/church planter/husband/father, “At Christmas, Jesus does not just want you to remember what he did; he wants you to join him in what he is doing.” Let's join Jesus in walking with these single-mom families!

A Witness

There are many single moms who come to us from desperate situations. We do not take this trust lightly. I challenge us to listen to their life cries. Some of them have been emotionally traumatized, facing unbearable burdens that few of us have experienced. Why are you on this outreach team? Many of you have sisters or moms or aunts who have lived the life of a single mom. You share their burden. Thank you seems so simple; but this team would not be as effective without you. Thank you!

A children's worker at our Saturday outreach reported to me what one single mom commented. She confided that she had been abused by a man and said it was great to see men who cared enough about her to change the oil in her car. Wow! That comment gets to the heart of our service. What an incredible thing it is to share in this ministry.

Most of the men who serve on our outreach team never see the single moms who bring their cars. But the single moms see what the men do. Sometimes it’s unbearably hot; sometimes there are snow flurries and numbing cold temperatures. But the single moms see how people are sacrificing their time to help them.

As Thanksgiving approaches, we thank our Eternal God for the awesome opportunity to lend a helping hand.

Love Knows the Way!

I'm feeling a myriad of emotions from today's outreach. Returning home I'm struck with how difficult life can be! Like the mom who broke into tears when we told her tire needed fixed. She had no money to fix the flat; she's homeless, living in a local shelter. But we got her to a local tire shop and had the tire fixed. She came back to express extreme gratitude!

With 27 vehicles to change, we needed all the help who came. At one point Wayne Yost, (who does a fantastic job leading the guys outside in the oil change area), told me he could use one more person to help. I walked back into the building to look for someone and there was a man we had never met, who just walked into the building. He was holding a copy of the flyer that was sent out last week and said he came to help. Yes! He came to help, yet he himself was homeless, living in his van. Amazing!

There were two more homeless ladies who had windows in their vehicles completely broke out. One had a blanket over the entire back window; the other one had a garbage bag over the window. Neither one had the money to fix their window.

AND YET... from these precious ladies came smiles, laughter, and huge "thank-you" for the oil change and car inspections. Great work everyone! Karla gave out free haircut coupons from a local cosmetology school. She also brought a stack of ladies' magazines from home and the ladies quickly took one to take home. Central Bible College students and Evangel students came and helped with the children inside as well as with the oil team outside. I'm so proud of everyone! Wow, what a day!

Gratitude to All Who Serve

We've experienced a great summer. A couple special situations come to mind. It's great that we're a multi-generational church, but it's even more significant when generations are working together. We see that in our outreach team. Wow, I can't believe the teenagers that have come with their parents to help over the past couple of years. I can count at least 8 different parent-teenager combinations who have come on a Saturday morning and worked together. What an amazing way for a teenager to spend a Saturday morning! I'm also reminded of the Saturdays when our numbers of serving volunteers were thin but they stepped up to the plate and got the job done or Get-R-Done (that's Ozark talk). Like the Saturday when Craig changed 8 vehicles with a teenager's help plus the teen's dad (who had never helped before). You might not appreciate that feat, but believe me Craig deserves our congratulations! And, just as remarkable, the conversations that take place in our Fusion Youth Center as these single moms wait for their oil to be changed. I’m so humbled by their gratitude! Those who serve in the entire Beyond the Wall outreach ministry - THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU! This ministry is not about any one person, including myself; it's about giving of our time in worship to Christ so that others may know the value and love of God.

Outcome from Serving

Some people ask me about the connection between the oil change outreach and the death of my two sisters. I wouldn't say that the death of my two sisters was the only motivating factor in starting the oil change outreach. Helping me deal with grief from their deaths was certainly an unintended outcome, and I’m grateful to God for that. But I do think that anytime we're able to lift our attention to people and situations outside ourselves - that this is often one of the results of an outward focus. What the death of my sisters did prompt me (and my wife) to do was to start looking at the difficulties and trying circumstances often forced upon single moms. We empathized with single moms to a greater degree after the death of my sisters. When I think of these single moms, meet them on outreach day, and learn of their hardships; I'm often drawn to think of these single moms in light of my two sisters, Sandra & Casey, and wonder, "What would I do, if they were my sister?" Of course I would want to help them... I would want to change their oil...I would want to change out a faulty light fixture in their home, or mow their lawn, etc. So yes, I believe the deaths of my sisters have put a more compassionate face on the oil change outreach.

Moments Maximized

This is our moment. A moment filled with opportunity. As ladies and their families make their way each month to enjoy a free oil change from volunteers at Central Assembly, a larger opportunity is at stake: An opportunity to love...an opportunity to embrace their friendship...an opportunity to influence. When you look at the larger outreach picture, there are multiple points of entry for people to enter our community of friendship at Central Assembly. The oil change is one of them; but it's a unique opportunity especially designed for reaching out to single moms. Let's maximize this entry point! God has created us to do something. Can you look back on your life and remember times when specific moments made a huge difference in the future of your life? Even moments that appear to be mundane, often later appear to be a turning point in the direction of one's life. Have you ever thought about the "moment" the single moms experience when they come to the oil change? Does it make an eternal difference in their life? It just might. Maybe a time of prayer with a lady from the interaction team. Maybe just a reflection on the hard work and effort put in by those who serve on the oil change team. Maybe a kind word from someone who greets them at the registration area, or the loving interaction shown to their children in the kid's area.

Let' seize this divine moment! I encourage you to take initiative in the small, but very important details of interaction with these ladies and their kids.

How do we pray for our Ministry? I'm asking the Lord, "How do You want to make the transition from our tangible expression of care to these ladies - to a relationship these ladies have with You?" Pray for these ladies to accept a relationship with Jesus. If we engage in this monthly ministry and do not look at the larger picture of what God wants to do, then burnout and dropout often occurs. Consider these questions: Are we seeing single moms wanting to reinvest their lives into volunteering in this ministry? Congratulations, we're seeing that! Ladies are asking if there's any way they can help. Some are volunteering their family members to come along and help with them. A few are checking out the Life Skills class that Jan leads. (Of course they've already checked out the church because you are the frontline ambassador of the church. They met you at the oil change!) Second question: Are we fostering relationship with these ladies? I personally want Becky and me to work more on this and I hope you will join us. I'm fascinated by their stories. They tug at our hearts. So how can we foster times of relationship-building? Perhaps a picnic where we all pitch in hamburgers and hotdogs? Inviting them to our family campfire get-togethers? Inviting them to our Sunday School and small-group social outings? There are many possibilities!

Amazing Love

“Amazing Love…” lyrics by Chris Tomlin really moves me because I’m reminded of the awesome depth of God’s love for me. Wow! I never want to lose the extreme gratitude I feel for His grace.

I’m also deeply moved when I see how people give of themselves to impact other people’s lives for the good. When I see outreach extended through the lives of Central Assembly’s family, it is totally awesome! For instance, there's Wes, a member on the oil change team, who often works 3rd shift at Evangel University and then comes to change oil for single moms before going home to sleep. Why would he do that? It’s because he is using his mechanical gifts to help others and he has put his own interests below that of these disadvantaged single moms. Likewise, why would members of the oil change team often go out of their way to help a single mom beyond the oil change itself? I personally know there have been instances of oil change volunteers buying groceries for a single mom who came to the oil change, buying Christmas gifts for their children, purchasing gas vouchers when a single mom needed to make a trip, and buying tires for their vehicles. And they do all this with their own money, without the thought of recognition or public thanks.

How could you not be humbled by being around such genuine people like this? Amazing love…

Collaboration

I love the word collaboration. It simply means "to labor together." We need more of it! In general, ministries within a church have often shied away from working together. Issues abound from "this is my turf" to "I started this" and the list goes on and on. These issues really boil down to issues of insecurity, self-centeredness, and a narrow view of God's big picture.

I love the upcoming Meal for Single Moms because these teams - The Oil Change for Single Mom's team, Life Skills for Mom's class, Crusin' thru Corinthians small group, and Connections Ministry are all working together to provide a lovely meal for single moms and their kids. This is intentional love. Our goal for this meal is to provide a meeting place for moms where they can interact with each other and be shown value by our church community.

Collaboration provides an appreciation for other people, their gifts, and the ideas they bring to the table. In the end, God gets the credit!

"Art is collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better." Andre Gide

Just Another Day

When we wake up in the morning do we think, "Oh, it's just another day?

This past Saturday I woke up feeling like that. It really wasn't a normal day. I didn't have to go to work. We had an opportunity to affect lives with a morning of outreach at our awesome church campus. So, why did I feel this way? Eight o'clock a.m. came and volunteers starting arriving. Some were new volunteers, some had done this many times before. But all came with one purpose: To encourage single moms and their children by changing their oil and inspecting their vehicles. What a busy morning it was! Cars lined up 6 - 8 cars deep all morning. Registration volunteers maxed out. Single moms jamming our cafe area. Volunteer ladies encouraging around tables of hospitality. Prayer being offered around the tables. Very appreciative single moms awed by everyone's giving. Guys steadily working around the cars outside, trying to keep warm in mid 30 temperatures. Ladies wondering how long it would take for their car to be done. Twenty-two or twenty-three cars. (We lost track of one.) Wow! What a morning! Pastor Jim Bradford hit the nail on the head Sunday evening. In his message he said (paraphrased), "Some people give up on outreach when the glamor goes away. But if we press on, we will be effective." This attitude defeats the notion that It's Just Another Day. I'm glad our team pushed beyond this feeling (or was it just me?) and came out on a cold morning. It turned out to be a GREAT DAY!

Example of beyond-the-walls love

Today, ordinary people who worship together at Central Assembly, gathered to change vehicle oil for single moms, widows, and wives of deployed military men. We engage in this ministry once a month. But something happened today that amazed me! Out of the 14 cars we changed oil in, one of them had bumper stickers all over the car that many people would consider off the wall at the very least. Words like Sex, Love, Drugs, Pagan all adorned her car. To set the stage, it was a very cold day for southern Missouri at 32 degrees and snow flurries. Hey, we change the oil outside, not in a heated garage! So when this car arrived to the oil change station, after draining the oil and changing the filter, the team leader said to one of the volunteers, "Stick your finger in this new oil when I pour it into the engine." The volunteer thought the team leader was crazy. But when the volunteer had oil on his finger, the team leader told him to annoint the car and he was going to pray. I stood within hearing distance while writing down information on another car. Wow! He began to pray with simple faith and said things like, "Heavenly Father, every time this single mom gets in this car and any of her friends gets in this car - remind them of your love and your presence." He kept praying fervently and seriously, invoking God to impact her life. Unbelievable! Here stood a group of men around this car, shivering in the cold, some wishing they were home in front of the fireplace - praying for God's amazing intervention in the life of this precious single mom. With love like that, people will be eternally drawn to Jesus Christ!