Life Connections

Imagine a lady walking down a quiet neighborhood street with a toddler in hand. She walks ever so slowly as the toddler takes small steps, talking gently with the child as she walks. This is the picture I witnessed as I drove away from a single mom’s home last week. The lady walking was a volunteer with Beyond the Walls. I met the volunteer at the single mom’s house to look at a flooring project. She needs linoleum (which is already purchased) installed in her kitchen. It was unlike any floor I have ever seen in a long time. Worn wood-flooring from many years of use and patched with pieces of plywood, this home would look unlivable to most American families. But to a mom living in poverty, it offers a roof over her family’s head and security vs living in a shelter.

This, however, is the picture I hope we will grasp for the coming year: Christ followers walking hand-in-hand through life difficulties with a single mom and her kids; ladies as mentors with single moms, and men and women of all ages mentoring the children of single moms. How do we pull this off? I invite you to join me in this discussion in months to come. I desire and need your advice. I’ll be talking to other mentoring ministries to compare best-practices. All I know right now is that with dads absent in the single-mom-home, the children could use a mentoring relationship from a stable Christian adult – young or old.

I love a quote by Ed Stetzer, preacher/church planter/husband/father, “At Christmas, Jesus does not just want you to remember what he did; he wants you to join him in what he is doing.” Let's join Jesus in walking with these single-mom families!

A Witness

There are many single moms who come to us from desperate situations. We do not take this trust lightly. I challenge us to listen to their life cries. Some of them have been emotionally traumatized, facing unbearable burdens that few of us have experienced. Why are you on this outreach team? Many of you have sisters or moms or aunts who have lived the life of a single mom. You share their burden. Thank you seems so simple; but this team would not be as effective without you. Thank you!

A children's worker at our Saturday outreach reported to me what one single mom commented. She confided that she had been abused by a man and said it was great to see men who cared enough about her to change the oil in her car. Wow! That comment gets to the heart of our service. What an incredible thing it is to share in this ministry.

Most of the men who serve on our outreach team never see the single moms who bring their cars. But the single moms see what the men do. Sometimes it’s unbearably hot; sometimes there are snow flurries and numbing cold temperatures. But the single moms see how people are sacrificing their time to help them.

As Thanksgiving approaches, we thank our Eternal God for the awesome opportunity to lend a helping hand.

Love Knows the Way!

I'm feeling a myriad of emotions from today's outreach. Returning home I'm struck with how difficult life can be! Like the mom who broke into tears when we told her tire needed fixed. She had no money to fix the flat; she's homeless, living in a local shelter. But we got her to a local tire shop and had the tire fixed. She came back to express extreme gratitude!

With 27 vehicles to change, we needed all the help who came. At one point Wayne Yost, (who does a fantastic job leading the guys outside in the oil change area), told me he could use one more person to help. I walked back into the building to look for someone and there was a man we had never met, who just walked into the building. He was holding a copy of the flyer that was sent out last week and said he came to help. Yes! He came to help, yet he himself was homeless, living in his van. Amazing!

There were two more homeless ladies who had windows in their vehicles completely broke out. One had a blanket over the entire back window; the other one had a garbage bag over the window. Neither one had the money to fix their window.

AND YET... from these precious ladies came smiles, laughter, and huge "thank-you" for the oil change and car inspections. Great work everyone! Karla gave out free haircut coupons from a local cosmetology school. She also brought a stack of ladies' magazines from home and the ladies quickly took one to take home. Central Bible College students and Evangel students came and helped with the children inside as well as with the oil team outside. I'm so proud of everyone! Wow, what a day!

Gratitude to All Who Serve

We've experienced a great summer. A couple special situations come to mind. It's great that we're a multi-generational church, but it's even more significant when generations are working together. We see that in our outreach team. Wow, I can't believe the teenagers that have come with their parents to help over the past couple of years. I can count at least 8 different parent-teenager combinations who have come on a Saturday morning and worked together. What an amazing way for a teenager to spend a Saturday morning! I'm also reminded of the Saturdays when our numbers of serving volunteers were thin but they stepped up to the plate and got the job done or Get-R-Done (that's Ozark talk). Like the Saturday when Craig changed 8 vehicles with a teenager's help plus the teen's dad (who had never helped before). You might not appreciate that feat, but believe me Craig deserves our congratulations! And, just as remarkable, the conversations that take place in our Fusion Youth Center as these single moms wait for their oil to be changed. I’m so humbled by their gratitude! Those who serve in the entire Beyond the Wall outreach ministry - THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU! This ministry is not about any one person, including myself; it's about giving of our time in worship to Christ so that others may know the value and love of God.

Outcome from Serving

Some people ask me about the connection between the oil change outreach and the death of my two sisters. I wouldn't say that the death of my two sisters was the only motivating factor in starting the oil change outreach. Helping me deal with grief from their deaths was certainly an unintended outcome, and I’m grateful to God for that. But I do think that anytime we're able to lift our attention to people and situations outside ourselves - that this is often one of the results of an outward focus. What the death of my sisters did prompt me (and my wife) to do was to start looking at the difficulties and trying circumstances often forced upon single moms. We empathized with single moms to a greater degree after the death of my sisters. When I think of these single moms, meet them on outreach day, and learn of their hardships; I'm often drawn to think of these single moms in light of my two sisters, Sandra & Casey, and wonder, "What would I do, if they were my sister?" Of course I would want to help them... I would want to change their oil...I would want to change out a faulty light fixture in their home, or mow their lawn, etc. So yes, I believe the deaths of my sisters have put a more compassionate face on the oil change outreach.

Moments Maximized

This is our moment. A moment filled with opportunity. As ladies and their families make their way each month to enjoy a free oil change from volunteers at Central Assembly, a larger opportunity is at stake: An opportunity to love...an opportunity to embrace their friendship...an opportunity to influence. When you look at the larger outreach picture, there are multiple points of entry for people to enter our community of friendship at Central Assembly. The oil change is one of them; but it's a unique opportunity especially designed for reaching out to single moms. Let's maximize this entry point! God has created us to do something. Can you look back on your life and remember times when specific moments made a huge difference in the future of your life? Even moments that appear to be mundane, often later appear to be a turning point in the direction of one's life. Have you ever thought about the "moment" the single moms experience when they come to the oil change? Does it make an eternal difference in their life? It just might. Maybe a time of prayer with a lady from the interaction team. Maybe just a reflection on the hard work and effort put in by those who serve on the oil change team. Maybe a kind word from someone who greets them at the registration area, or the loving interaction shown to their children in the kid's area.

Let' seize this divine moment! I encourage you to take initiative in the small, but very important details of interaction with these ladies and their kids.

How do we pray for our Ministry? I'm asking the Lord, "How do You want to make the transition from our tangible expression of care to these ladies - to a relationship these ladies have with You?" Pray for these ladies to accept a relationship with Jesus. If we engage in this monthly ministry and do not look at the larger picture of what God wants to do, then burnout and dropout often occurs. Consider these questions: Are we seeing single moms wanting to reinvest their lives into volunteering in this ministry? Congratulations, we're seeing that! Ladies are asking if there's any way they can help. Some are volunteering their family members to come along and help with them. A few are checking out the Life Skills class that Jan leads. (Of course they've already checked out the church because you are the frontline ambassador of the church. They met you at the oil change!) Second question: Are we fostering relationship with these ladies? I personally want Becky and me to work more on this and I hope you will join us. I'm fascinated by their stories. They tug at our hearts. So how can we foster times of relationship-building? Perhaps a picnic where we all pitch in hamburgers and hotdogs? Inviting them to our family campfire get-togethers? Inviting them to our Sunday School and small-group social outings? There are many possibilities!